THE DOUCHE BAG CRONICLES

MEET THE "ALT BROMANCE BRO" DOUCHE BAG. U'VE SEEN HIM IN THE CLUB NUMEROUS TIMES. GIVING HIGH FIVES AND TRYING TO MOLEST THEIR FAV DJ. THEY CAN EITHER ROLL ALONE, OR FLY IN WITH A FLOCK OF OTHER "BROMANCE BROS"

REPEAT LY YELLING OUT THE NAME OF THE OBJECT OF THEIR AFFECTION...RIGHT IN YOUR EAR....OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. THEY CAN RESORT TO VIOLENCE, AND TOSS A BITCH OUT THEIR WAY SO THEY CAN RIDE ON THE NUTS OF THE DJ DROPPING CUTS.

DETAILS....PEEP GAME!

THIS GUY WAS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. ALL UP IN MY FACE. LOUD OBNOXIOUS, ANNOYING, SPILLING HIS DRANK ON MY SHOES NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT THREE TIMES. WAVING HIS HANDS IN MY FACE TO GET MY ATTENTION....DON'T YOU GET IT! I HEAR U, BUT I'M NOT ACKNOWLEDGING YOU, BECAUSE YOUR WACK AS FUCK!

HE LEFT ME PONDERING THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS:

1. WHY DO ALT "BROMANCE BROS" LIKE THIS CARRY ON A "BRO"MANCE W/ THEIR FAV DJ'S, YET REFUSE TO FULLY COME OUT THE CLOSET???? ARE THEY ONLY GAY FOR BOYS WHO PLAY RECORDS??????????

2. DO BOYS LIKE THIS GUY REALIZE THEY'RE DOUCHE BAGS??????

3. WHY DO BOYS LIKE THIS SAY MEAN THINGS TO YOU RUIN YOUR FAV SHOES ONE SECOND, AND THEN TRY TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND A MINUTE LATER???????

4. DO BOYS LIKE THIS PICK UP ON GIRLS NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION THAT SCREAMS "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME U A HOLE" OR DO THEY JUST IGNORE IT?????????


ALT BROMANCE DOUCHE BAG BRO... I SALUTE U!

XX BANG BANG
HOLLY THE BLAH BLAH