Saturday, March 8, 2008

The Legend of Griz Pard One-a-did!

Okay, this has been a long long long long time coming, but, I'm finally ready to tell the story of Gris.
Have you ever meet someone so dumb (not in a mean way, but thet're always clueless), that your like "How do they survive one a daily basis?" with that said.
I used to work as a Merchandiser, and after some shady drama on the part, or pard (as Griz would say) of our Store Manager, we got a new merchandise manager....Grizelda ...I'm not kidding...Grizelda, but we called her Griz for short
No words can ever, and I mean ever, put her whole being as a person into words, but I'm down to try, and If you know Griz, please validate my stories.
Day 1-a-did!
Griz-ism "Chew never god-a-did a second chan-say to make-a-did a first impression-a-did!"
walk in to meet Griz for the first time. Ahhh I remember it like it was yesterday. Her black fleshy gums glistening under the florcent lights, and wait a minute...what the eff is that smell... what the eff is on her ass...
FYI. Griz always smelt like shit, and always, and I mean ALWAYS had a big brown stain on her ass. WTF!
Before I go any further into any stories, I wanna break down her language which was part english, part spanish, and part what the fuck are you saying?
Rule one- for every word ending with a T, you have to replace the T with a D. Example: What becomes Wud; Hat becomes Had; Greet becomes Greed
Rule Two- Do-did to-did. She really said this. No one really knows what this means, but you can use it for anything. Example: " Hey Gurl, wud chew do-did to-did" Translation: "Hey Girl, What's up?"
Rule Three- You have to say boy after you say a guys name, and gurl after you say a girls name. Example: Holly becomes Holly Gurl. Brian becomes Brian Boy
Rule Four- Make shit up. just make up words and throw them in the mix. It's all good.
Rule Five- you have to talk in a HELLA HIGH pitched voice-a-did.
Rule six-a-did- add (a-did) to every four or five words.
That's it or id for right now-a-did

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